McGuire: The Past Generation
by Dan T
Summary: A "Lizzie Prequel" that I've never seen done before in fanfic... just how did Sam and Jo get together in the first place to lead to the family we all know and love? Go back to the mid 1970s and see...
1. First Day of School

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

Hillridge, California

Monday, September 8, 1975

7:25 AM

"This is so great! You're going off to your first day at high school! You'll make _so_ many new friends…"

Sam McGuire grimaced. "Mom… I don't even have any _old_ friends. When we moved here two years ago, I started middle school with a whole bunch of people who had known one another since kindergarten, but I was the stranger, the outsider. The most anybody does is _tolerate_ me. I don't expect high school to be any different."

"But there are lots of new, different people there! I'm sure you'll find _somebody_ you like!", said his mother.

"Yeah, _sure_ there are lots of new people… Hillridge High School has a bigger district than Hillridge Junior High, so they've got all the kids from Jefferson Middle School too… bunch of stuck up snobs, far as I can see. _Great_ improvement that'll be. And, oh yeah, there's also all the seniors and juniors, and even sophomores, _all_ of whom think they're superior to us lowly freshmen. They even stuck flyers on our lockers in the last week of middle school to warn us of all the rules they expect us to follow. Most of the hallways are off limits. High school will be a blast, all right."

"Don't be so negative all the time! You'll adjust… OK, middle school might have been a little hard, being in a new town and all, but you should do just fine now."

"Mom, I didn't even have friends back in Michigan! Face it… I'm a _nerd_. Nerds don't have friends. I'm not even all that friendly with the _other_ nerds… I'm just not into the right things even for them. Like, I'm a sports fan… most nerds don't care about that stuff. I'd get along better with the jocks with that interest, except that none of them can stand me enough to even _care_ what I'm interested in. So I think I'm just best off keeping to myself like I've always done."

"But what about that guy… what was his name? Gordon something? You went to that Jewish ceremony of his… what do they call it?"

"A Bar Mitzvah, Mom. And his name is Howard Gordon, but people call him Howie. And he's _not_ my friend… he's just another one of the nerds at school, who's desperate enough to find people to invite to his parties and ceremonies and stuff, that he picks anybody he thinks can _stand_ him. I don't get desperate like that; that's why I haven't even wanted to have a birthday party except within the family. But I even have to remind you to do _that_, because you're the only mother I know who can't even remember her own kid's birthday!"

"I know your birthday… August 10th, isn't it?"

"August 11th. You're only one day off this time… better than usual. I'd _think_ you'd know it, since after all, you were _around_ for my birth …"

"I was completely knocked out… in those days they used _lots_ of anaesthesia. I don't remember _anything_."

"You don't _have_ to be under anesthesia to not remember things, Mom… like, we've been out of milk for two days and you still haven't gotten any. I had to eat my cereal dry."

"I'll get it today, I promise… now go! You'll miss your bus!"

* * *

"Jo, hurry up! You don't want to be late for your first day of school, do you?", said another mother across town. 

"Coming, Mom," said Jo. "But I'm really nervous about going to high school… it's going to be _way_ different from middle school. In middle school, I was, well, in the middle. Not part of the 'A-list' of the popular crowd, but not over with the dorks either. People respected me, well, most of the time anyway, and most of them got along with me even if they didn't ask me to sit at the cheerleaders' table. But at high school, I'm going to be thrown in with a whole bunch of strangers who might have very different ideas of social order. Along with the people I know from Jefferson Middle School, there's the crowd from Hillridge Junior High, and _they've_ got quite a reputation for being wild and rowdy, and very _mean_ to anybody they don't think deserves to be on the top of the hill. They're more _interesting_ people than the dull, boring, 'respectable' Jefferson gang, but they're _scary_ at the same time."

"Oh, you'll adjust to it. Maybe you'll even find a _boy_ you like… I'm sure _that's_ what you're really thinking about. Or are you still crushing on the lifeguard from the city pool?"

"MOM… I got over that a _year_ ago! That guy isn't even in high school any more; I think he either went away to college or is living in his mother's basement or something… I don't see him around any more, and don't _want_ to. Yes, I'd like to find a guy to date, but I don't know if any of the people I'm likely to meet around here are going to be at all right for me. This is a pretty shallow, superficial suburb we live in. I tried for a while to be shallow just like everybody else, to see if I could get into the popular crowd myself, but it just didn't work… being phony is _not_ what I do best. Unfortunately, this place seems to reward phoniness more than honesty."

"Honesty will win out in the end… just be patient, and be yourself, and don't worry if a few shallow idiots don't appreciate it. In the long run, you'll win and they'll lose."

"Thanks, Mom, but I'm not sure I can wait for the long run to arrive."

"Well, you'd better not wait too long now… you've got to get to school now! It's a quarter to eight already!"

Jo rushed out the door and just barely caught the school bus.


	2. In the Halls of Hillridge High

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"Hey, where ya goin', freshman?", said a big boy with blonde hair and fashionable, expensive-looking clothing, with a whole "posse" of other kids trailing him. 

"Ummm… I'm just looking for my locker… I thought it was down this way," said Sam, timidly, looking at the locker-assignment slip he had been handed during homeroom at the start of the first school day.

"Well, I don't know, or care, where it is, but you'd better not go _that_ way if you know what's best for you. Didn't you read the Freshman Rules we gave all of you back in middle school? That's a Senior Hallway, off-limits to freshman scum. Hey… aren't you McGuire?"

"How do you know my name? I've never even met you!", said Sam.

"I have ways of knowing everyone and everything in this school, and don't you forget it. I especially keep track of all the geeks; don't want them getting out of line and thinking they're actually _human_ or something," said the boy.

"I prefer 'nerd' myself… actually, a 'geek' is a carnival freak who bites the heads off chickens," said Sam.

"Wouldn't be surprised if _you_ did a carnival freak act… but I don't really care. Geek, nerd, dork, whatever you call yourself… just stay out of my way. I'm Steve Sanders, but you can call me 'Sir'." With that, he walked away, taking his posse with him.

"You'd better listen to him… he _rules_ this school. You don't want to get on his bad side," said another boy who was standing at the side of the hall, and had listened to the whole exchange. "Steve is a senior, and a rich kid… his family owns a big chunk of Hillridge. He's used to getting his way about everything. Oh, by the way, I'm Lawrence Tudgeman, Junior. I have to use the 'Junior' so I don't get confused with my dad, Lawrence Tudgeman, Senior. I'm also a junior this year in high school; next year, I'll be Lawrence Tudgeman, Junior, the senior. But you can call me 'Larry'; that's a bit shorter, I guess."

"Hi, Larry," said Sam. "I'm Sam McGuire."

"So, was Steve right about you being a nerd?", asked Larry. "It's a label I'm _proud_ of myself. I've seen every episode of _Star Trek_ at least three times."

"Uh, I watch that sometimes... when there isn't a ball game on," said Sam.

"I don't get into sports myself," said Larry. "When I'm not watching _Star Trek_ or reading science fiction, I spend my time programming the computer I have at home."

"You have a _computer_ at home? I thought those things took up a huge room and cost millions of dollars! Only the government and big companies have them… they use them to send astronauts to the moon and to process the cards in bills that say 'Do Not Fold, Spindle, or Mutilate'. People don't have them at home… or do they?", said Sam.

"Now they can," said Larry. "The Altair hobby kit computer came out this year, and electronics experimenters can put it together themselves or buy it fully assembled for a little more. I saved up for months, and used all my birthday money, and even dipped into the savings account that was supposed to be for my college education, to buy it. Eventually, maybe I'll be able to afford a display monitor – that's kind of like a TV set that attaches to the computer so you can see words and numbers on the screen. Right now, it just gives readout in flashing lights, so you have to speak binary to understand it."

"So what can you actually _do_ with the computer? Are you going to launch a spaceship to the moon like NASA?", said Sam.

"That would be a neat project… but so far all I've gotten it to do is determine whether numbers are prime, and calculate pi to 200 digits," said Larry. "But someday, people are going to be using computers for all sorts of great things. I've read about a lot of it in _Byte_ magazine; I'm a charter subscriber."

"_Bite_? That sounds like a magazine for orthodontists," said Sam.

"That's _Byte_ with a 'y'. It's a computer word, meaning eight bits," said Larry.

"That would be a dollar, since two bits is a quarter?", said Sam.

"Actually, in computer-speak, a 'bit' is a binary digit… a one or a zero," said Larry. "All data that's processed by a computer is expressed as a whole series of ones and zeroes. The zeroes are very important; you may think a zero is 'nothing', but it's actually the basis of our whole number system, both the binary one used by computers and the decimal one used by humans. Why, the invention of the zero by the Arabs revolutionized mathematics in the middle ages… but I digress. Anyway, as I was saying, some day everybody is going to have a computer in their home, and they'll be used for all sorts of things. People will get news and information from all over through their computers."

"Somehow, I think I'd rather read a newspaper than try to get news from some flashing lights in binary," said Sam.

"You can connect display monitors to computers, so you can read text and graphics on them like on TV. People at universities are already sending messages to one another this way. They've got something called the 'Arpanet' that connects lots of computers together, and people on it can write articles and put them in 'text files' to send to another computer across the country at another university. It's a lot faster than sending it in the mail. And they're already talking about expanding the network to take on more computers in more places… sometimes they call the expanded network the 'Worldnet', because it will go all around the world, or the 'Internet', because it interconnects all the different networks into one big network. Then, a guy named Ted Nelson writes about a thing he calls 'Xanadu', that's based on 'hypertext', which is a bunch of articles that can all link together to one another so you can follow references to things that are related to whatever you're reading about. I sure wish _my_ computer could connect to all of this stuff, but it's still stuck calculating digits of pi. Someday people will do all this stuff from their homes."

"Not in _my_ lifetime, I don't think," said Sam. "Perhaps you've been reading a little too much science fiction."

"But, anyway, perhaps you'd like to come over to my place some time and see the computer," said Larry.

"OK… I think I will. Nice meeting you!", said Sam. The bell rang, and they all rushed to their next class.

* * *

Jo had gotten through the morning classes without major incident, and now headed into the cafeteria for lunch. The girl behind her in line saw her and yelled, "Hey, Jo Schmoe! So you made it into high school… I thought maybe you'd have flunked PhysEd and got held back in eighth grade."

"Nice to see you too, CoCo Puffs," said Jo.

"Hey, don't go addressing me with joke names… that's something for _me_ to do to you and not the other way… or have you forgotten your proper place in the social order over the summer? Next you'll be thinking you can win 'Best Dressed' over me this year. I guess everybody can dream… Anyway, my proper name, as you are aware, is 'Coco Newbury'… it's _Ms. Newbury_ to you."

"You may have ruled Jefferson Middle School, but you're in a bigger pond now… here, you're a freshman just like me," said Jo. "Those seniors will knock you down just as much as the rest of us."

"Oh, I have my connections… don't worry about me," said Coco. "And don't _think_ about trying to sit in the same table as me… I've already got a space lined up on the cheerleaders' table!"

After being served her helping of mystery meat, Jo handed a dollar to the cashier. High school lunches were 35 cents, so she got 65 cents back in change. Looking at the change, she remarked, "This quarter looks funny."

A boy ahead of her looked back, and said "Oh, that's one of those new bicentennial quarters. It's a pretty neat concept, that they changed the design of the quarter temporarily as a commemorative. They should do it more often; coins are usually boring, all the same every year."

"OK, I guess," said Jo. "Hi, I'm Jo."

"I'm Howie Gordon. Nice to meet you."

Coco interjected from behind. "I wouldn't go hanging with this guy, Jo… he's a nerd. Hillridge Junior High dumps _lots_ of nerds, geeks, and dweebs into this place. You start being friends with _him_ and next thing that Tudgeman Junior guy will be coming up to you and inviting you to see his computer contraption … or there's the guy, McSomething, who's been boasting about his baseball card collection. Your social status will plunge even lower than it already is. Listen to me; this is the one piece of good advice I'm gonna give you before I go back to being mean to you again. Anyway, Gordon, were you about to show her your digital watch? Don't wanna interrupt you…"

"Uh, well, yeah, I _have_ been showing it to people, because it's so neat," said Howie. "My parents got me this for my birthday. Here, look at it!"

"I think it's broken," said Jo. "Its face is blank."

"You have to push this button here," said Howie. "See… the red LEDs light up, and you see the time digitally, to the second."

"OK… interesting," said Jo.

"Digital watches are a great advance; now I can schedule my life precisely," said Howie.

"All right… well, I prefer to be a little more spontaneous," said Jo.

"Suit yourself… but time is the one thing in your life that you'll never have enough of… so you should never waste it," said Howie.

Jo sat down with some people she knew from Jefferson Middle School and ate her lunch without any further incidents, gadgets, or commemorative coinage coming up.


	3. After School

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"So how was your first day of school?", asked Sam's mother the moment he walked in the door.

"So-so," said Sam. "Some of the classes look interesting, the cafeteria food wasn't _quite_ as disgusting as in middle school, and I met another kid who actually owns a real _computer_; I think I'm going to visit him sometime to see it. But on the other hand, some kid tried to sell me an elevator pass, but I know that's a scam – what do they think I am, stupid? Also, I never managed to find the locker they assigned me; I had to carry all my books with me all day. I think my locker may be in one of those hallways that the upperclassmen claim are off limits to freshmen; tomorrow I'll have to try to sneak in there when nobody is looking. There was this one really mean kid I ran into who I hope I can keep away from."

"Did you meet any _girls_?", said his mother.

"Mom… one day of high school and you're expecting me to be going steady or something? You know my experiences with girls have been… well, they don't make me all that eager to try meeting another one. At school, girls can be even meaner than the boys. And the boys are at least sometimes interested in things I might actually care about, like baseball, but the girls seem to talk about nothing but the silliest subjects… it's always clothes, makeup, the endless meaningless gossip about who's dating who and who just broke up with who… and their silly crushes on emptyheaded celebrities, like David Cassidy or whoever is the big teen idol for them now… I'm probably a few years behind on that because I don't read those stupid magazines they do."

"You're not being fair," said his mother. "Not _all_ girls are the same. _I_ wasn't like all the other girls, and I met your father, who wasn't like all the other boys. When the right people come together, they just _know_ it."

"What were the two of you _like_ back then? I kind of have trouble imagining my _parents_ as teenagers like me. Somehow I think of them as being… _old_… permanently!", said Sam.

"Old?", said his mother. "I'm not _old_, even now! I'm only 36 years old!"

"Hey, anything over sixteen still sounds old to me," said Sam.

"But, anyway, your dad was a shy farm boy, who lived a mile from the next house and hardly ever met anybody, and I was the daughter of the general store owner in town… when I was your age, I was working behind the counter in the store, and your dad would come in with _his_ dad to get supplies once a week. Somehow we became friends, and then more than friends… and we married right after high school graduation. Now, I don't think _you_ ought to be marrying that early, even when you find the right girl… people in my day rushed into things way too much. But I do know that the right girl for you will come along sooner or later."

* * *

All mothers are pretty much alike on this; Jo's mom also asked, "How was your first day of school?" when she arrived home.

"Pretty good, I guess," said Jo. "Coco Newbury was still mean to me, but I expected that. Other than that, nobody did anything bad to me, though I _did_ keep running into geeks and nerds… I don't want to wind up surrounded by them, because that won't be good for my social position."

"Don't be too judgemental," said her mother. "Just because people think of somebody as a… what are those words you use these days? 'geek' or 'nerd', doesn't make them bad people. If _I_ had listened to all the nasty insults other people said, I'd never have gotten together with your father, and where would _you_ be now? He was an immigrant; he came with his parents from Poland during the war. When I first met him, his English wasn't even very good; I helped teach him to speak better. Everybody else just called him a weird foreigner and didn't want to have anything to do with him, but I saw what a good man he really is. Nobody wanted me to marry him; not my friends, not my parents… it didn't help that he's so much younger than me, too… everybody expects men to marry younger women, instead of the other way around. But our marriage worked."

"Worked? But he threatens to leave about once a year," said Jo.

"Oh, that's just his way of showing his independence; he never goes through with it. We still love one another, and some day you'll find the right one for you, too… and maybe it'll be one of the boys you call… what was it? 'neeks'?"

"Geeks, or nerds," said Jo. "But I'm still not sure that's the sort of crowd I want to hang out with."

"You'll find the 'crowd' that's right for you… or it'll find you. Now, did anything else interesting happen in school?"

"Well, one of the nerds… I mean, one of the boys in school showed me his digital watch; interesting gadget. And I found a commemorative Bicentennial quarter in my change at lunch; I didn't know the mint was making them. And I had lunch with Ellen and Sue, who had interesting stories about their summer camp. But I've got one problem; I never _could_ find my locker. They gave me a slip with the locker number, and I looked all over all of the hallways, and just couldn't find it. I'm _sure_ I checked all the halls… well, except for the ones that they say are off limits to the freshmen. Now, could they have given me a locker in one of the halls that I'm not supposed to go into? That would be silly, wouldn't it?"

"I'm sure you'll find your locker tomorrow. Now, go wash up for dinner; your dad will be home soon."


	4. So THAT'S Where My Locker Is!

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"…_wouldn't you love to love her?  
Takes to the sky like a bird in flight, and who will be her lover?  
All your life you've never seen a woman taken by the wind  
Would you stay if she promised you heaven; will you ever win?"_

Sam woke up to his clock radio playing a recent Fleetwood Mac song. He pounded on the snooze bar, and ten minutes later the radio came back on again, this time with the morning deejay making some allegedly humorous wisecracks about President Ford, which Sam thought was kind of in bad taste. "Give the guy a _break_, can't they? He just survived an _assassination attempt_ a few days ago, after all… yeah, I _know_ he gets klutzy sometimes, but so do I, and I wish people would stop teasing _me_ about it."

He finally managed to drag himself out of bed, and a little later he was having breakfast, where his father asked him about the activities he was participating in at school.

"Well, it's pretty much my usual stuff… I signed up for the chess club, the Mathlete team, the audio-visual club… I think there's also a quiz bowl team I might get into too," said Sam.

"You're not playing any sports?", said his dad. "All of those things you're doing involve just sitting around.. that sounds boring. When I was your age, I played baseball and football.. now, that's _real_ activity, fun and good for your health too!"

"I like _watching_ sports, but I just never got into _playing_ them. Maybe I'm just not cut out for the same stuff as you," said Sam.

"Nonsense… you can be _just_ like me, if you try a little harder!", said his dad.

His mother interjected at this point, "Now, hold on… I think you should encourage Sam to be _himself_, instead of just raising him as an imitation of _yourself_."

"Thanks, Mom," said Sam.

"On the other hand, you _could_ use a little more exercise," said his mother.

"Well," said Sam, "I _could_ be going to that new roller-disco place, like all the other teens do on Saturday night… _that's_ a bit of a workout… except that I'd look really silly going there without a date, and I don't see _that_ happening any time soon."

"You'll find somebody to roller-disco with soon… I know it.", said his mother.

"And then, Dad, someday when I grow up, I'll find a company softball league to play in… promise!", added Sam.

"And, dear, you forgot to get milk again!", added his father.

After getting to school, Sam made another attempt to find his locker. "OK… my slip says it's locker number 503. It seems like that should be out around here… you've got number 499 at the end of this hall, and then there's an intersection, and then the lockers seem to resume just past that trophy case. But that's one of the halls I'm not supposed to go into, according to the flyer from the upperclassmen." Sam looked carefully around, and saw nobody looking that way. "All right… here goes!" Sam rushed into the empty hallway.

* * *

Jo's parents were arguing about something pointless all morning, so neither of them had one word for her. "So, what was this that Mom was saying about how perfect romance is when you find the right person?" Well, actually, the argument didn't seem genuinely bitter or anything, but it did seem to consume their energy. "Maybe arguing is just a recreational activity for them," thought Jo. "Whatever turns you on… not really _my_ style, though."

At school, she took another look at her locker slip. "Locker number 504. Let's think this out logically… I know that _this_ hallway ends at locker 601, and then the lockers continue, counting downward, after this intersection and the janitor's closet. Maybe I'm not remembering that silly flyer right, but I certainly thought that was one of the halls that freshmen aren't supposed to go on. Well, nobody seems to be watching now, so I'll just see if my locker isn't down at the other end of the hall there, by the trophy case. On my mark, get set… Go!" She hurried down the hall.

* * *

As usual, Steve Sanders was boasting to the kids in his "posse" about all the great achievements of his family. "OK… before class I've got to show you this… my dad was the quarterback of the state championship Hillridge football team in 1951, and there's a huge trophy with his name on it. Come here… the trophy case is right on the way to our first class." 


	5. First Meeting

**Author's Note**: Thanks for all the reviews! In this installment, where the characters are thinking things, you might imagine them being spoken by "toon" versions of them, if that makes this more "Lizzie-ish" for you!

* * *

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

As Sam and Jo raced into the hallway to try to reach their lockers before anybody spotted them, they literally ran into one another, collapsing onto the floor.

"Sorry!", said Sam. "I'm _such_ a klutz!"

"No, _I'm_ sorry," said Jo. "I really should have been watching where I was going."

"Well," said Sam, "at least I've found my locker now; it's this one."

"And _this_ is mine… right next to yours," said Jo. "So we're neighbors!"

Sam thought: "The _last_ thing I'm in the mood for right now is to deal with _girls_... OK, I need to be polite, but not look in any way like I'm _interested_ in her, or she'll probably dump me in some embarrassing way, without me even having to actually ask her out or anything!"

"Hi… I'm Sam," said Sam.

Jo thought: "Oh, _great_… he kind of looks like another nerd… haven't I met _enough_ of those already? Oh, well… better be nice to him anyway, since I'm probably going to have to meet him every day, with his locker right next to mine…"

"Hi, Sam… I'm Joann, but everybody calls me Jo."

"Nice to meet you," said Sam.

"Nice to meet you, too," said Jo.

They both thought, "OK, got the small talk out of the way… now just get my stuff into the locker and get to class!"

But just then, some other people came around the corner. It was Steve Sanders and his gang.

"…and _this_ is the championship trophy my dad won in 1951," said Steve.

"Umm, it looks like it's got the names of _all_ the team members, not just your dad's," said another kid.

"But my dad was the most _important_… he was the quarterback, and he was the one who threw the 22-yard touchdown pass with one second left to win the championship," said Steve. "And… hey, who's that over there? Do I see some _freshmen_ trespassing on our territory?" He walked over to Sam and Jo, who crouched nervously by their lockers.

"What do you think you're doing?", said Steve.

"Uh, well, this is the locker that was assigned me," said Sam, holding up the assignment slip.

"And do I _look_ like I care what's on that assignment slip?", said Steve.

"But it's not _fair_ to attack us for trying to use the lockers that the school assigned us!", said Jo.

"Looks like we've got some uppity freshmen who don't know their proper place," said Steve. "Hey, guys, you all know how to deal with troublemakers like that," he said to his friends.

"Yeah, we know… umm… how do we deal with them?", asked one of the other kids.

"Do I have to spell out _everything_ for you?", said Steve. "Oh, I guess so… You two, Dave and Randy, go find two big trash cans and bring them here."

A minute later, Dave and Randy were back with trash cans. Then, at Steve's instructions, they and several other kids grabbed Sam and Jo, and stuffed them firmly into the trash cans, packing garbage tightly around them. Then, they stood around and laughed hard for a minute, then all went away, leaving Sam and Jo, in their trash cans, all alone in the hallway.

"This is an embarrassing situation," said Jo.

"Well, for me, it's not actually the _first_ time I've been stuffed in a trash can at school," said Sam. "There was the time in grade school when I was the hall monitor…"

"Then, do you know anything about how to get _out_ of the trash can?", said Jo. "I'm stuffed so tightly I can barely move."

"I'll help you," said another voice, with a Latin American accent, coming from a girl who just walked into the hallway.


	6. It's a Date!

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

The Latina girl who had just walked into the hallway helped extricate Sam and Jo from their trash cans. The two of them both thanked her.

"_No problema,_" said the girl. "I'm a senior, but I'm not nasty like those others. I know what it's like to be discriminated against, because I got a lot of it myself… because I'm Mexican, and because I just moved into this town last year and was new here; I was never a freshman at this school, but some of the others treated me just as badly as they treat the freshmen. Hi, I'm Daniella."

"Hi, Daniella, I'm Sam," said Sam. "I'm Jo," added Jo.

"Some of those kids can be really mean, but you can survive it if you have friends who help you out," said Daniella. "I was lucky to find somebody when I came here, my boyfriend Eduardo. Without him, I never would have gotten through my first year in this place. Now he's off to college, but he comes home for weekends. We've got a date this Saturday at the roller disco place… perhaps you'd like to join us and make it a double date?"

"Uh, well," said Sam, "the two of us aren't actually, you know, _dating_… in fact, we just met right now."

"_Really!_", said Daniella. "Just looking at you, I was _sure_ you were together. I've got kind of a sixth sense for that sort of thing, and I thought you two looked perfect for one another."

"I've actually wanted to try out that roller-disco stuff…", said Jo.

("Wait… did I just agree to a date with that nerd?", she thought.)

"I could use the exercise," said Sam.

("Hold on… am I getting myself into a _date_? I thought I was avoiding that stuff…", he thought.)

"So, is it a date?", said Daniella.

"Yes, I'll do it," said Sam.

"Sure… why not?", said Jo.

"All right… meet us at 7 PM Saturday in front of Disco On Wheels. Now, we'd better all hurry up and get to our classes… the bell rang about ten minutes ago! Let's hope we don't all get detention for being tardy!", said Daniella.

* * *

At lunch, Howie Gordon and Larry Tudgeman sat by Sam. Howie asked him, "I've been hearing these wild rumors… Is it actually true that you've got a _date_? We may have to kick you out of the Society of Nerds, Geeks, and Dorks!"

"I didn't think you ever accepted me as a member in the first place," said Sam.

"That's OK… no self-respecting nerd would be a member of any club that would have him for a member," said Larry.

"I thought it was Groucho Marx who said that… and I don't think _he's_ a nerd," said Sam.

"Wasn't it Will Rogers?", said Larry.

"Well, _somebody_ famous said something about not being in a club that would have him for a member," said Howie, "and whether he was a nerd or not, it applies. But you're changing the subject… do you or don't you have a date with a _girl_ this weekend?"

"I might," said Sam. "What is it to _you_?"

"We've _all_ got a nerdiness reputation to uphold," said Howie. "Nerds and dating just _don't_ go together in the natural scheme of things. Anyway, if _one_ of us is seen out with a girl, then before long everybody's going to expect _all_ of us to be pairing up… and I don't think I'm ready for a girlfriend myself."

"I don't think the _world_ is ready for you having a girlfriend," said Larry.

"And look who's talking, Mr. Computer Brain," said Howie. "You're projecting your own psychological complexes on others, I think."

"You read _one_ textbook on psychology, and suddenly you're Freud," said Larry.

"Well, it's a fascinating subject," said Howie. "It might just be the profession I'm cut out for."

"So put up a booth outside school with a sign, 'Psychiatric Help 5 Cents… The Doctor Is In.' With all the nutcases around here, you'd make a fortune.", said Larry.

"Now _you're_ getting your ideas from comic strips," said Howie. "There's _got_ to be a psychological complex to _that_… maybe it's in the next textbook."

* * *

Jo was approached in the hall after school by Coco Newbury. "What's this about you having a _date_ with McGeek? I guess you don't want to listen to any of my advice on staying away from those types?"

"I'll date whoever… um, or is that '_whomever_'?... I want," said Jo. "What makes you think that I _care_ about the shallow, superficial popularity clique that wants to control what everybody does around here?"

"Well, you'd _better_ care if you know what's good for you," said Coco. "It's a shame… I had high hopes of your actually making it to at least the _lower_ levels of the almost-popular crowd… but you had to blow it, as usual."

"I'll make my own crowd, thank you," said Jo. "I have no need for you."

"Suit yourself," said Coco. "But, since I'm in an exceedingly generous mood, one more bit of advice… Whatever you do, _don't_ ask Sam I Am about his baseball card collection… not if you don't want to be bored silly with a long lecture about how Willie Whatshisname put chicken on the hill, or _whatever_."

"I'll try to remember that," said Jo.


	7. Getting Ready for the Date

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

Sam sat in his room Saturday afternoon, worrying about his date that evening. Over the past week, he had met Jo several times – after all, their lockers were right next to one another – and worked out details of how they would get together; Sam's mom would pick her up at 6:45. Sam thought that having his mom handle transportation for a date was rather nerdy, but couldn't think of a better alternative; the bus was hardly high-class date transportation either. "I can't _wait_ until I get my driver's license," thought Sam. "Maybe I'll try to get my dad to give me driving lessons before I'm even old enough for a permit… that'll give me a head start. He keeps talking about how _his_ dad let him drive the tractor on the farm at age 13, so maybe he'll be agreeable to that."

He had started off Saturday in a fairly good mood; there was a new episode of _Land of the Lost_, which had finally started its second season last week after many months of reruns. This was the only Saturday morning TV show that Sam still watched, having decided he had finally outgrown the likes of _Scooby-Doo_, but this show fascinated Sam with its intricately-defined fictional universe, where new facts about the Sleestaks, pylons, and other things in the show's fantasy world fit together into an internally-consistent whole. Unfortunately, the second season so far didn't seem quite as coherent as the first; the show was beginning to lose its focus, and maybe by the third season they would be introducing silly, pointless new characters and plot elements that made no sense, and the show would start to really suck. "Maybe it would be better if they'd cancel shows while they were still good," thought Sam, "instead of letting them go into a slow decline. If they cut them off at some arbitrary limit, like 65 episodes, then the fans would complain, but they complain even worse when the show continues and gets really awful… maybe 'putting it to sleep' earlier would be more humane!"

So far, however, the show was still pretty good, and it helped Sam temporarily forget about the problems in his personal life. But soon it was over, and Sam went back to worrying. "Just _what_ have I got myself into?", he thought. "I don't know what to do and what to say… what kind of stuff should I talk about? This girl probably won't care about my theories about how the pylons work and the history of the Sleestaks… she probably doesn't even _watch_ that show. And she probably won't care about my baseball card collection either, or the pennant race. Will she have _anything_ in common that we can talk about? And, then, there's that roller-disco-ing stuff… I'd wanted to try it, but now that I think about it, I haven't even roller-skated since I was little; I'll probably fall flat on my face and embarrass myself. _Why_ do I let myself get into these things? It would have been much safer for me to just stay home and watch a ballgame on TV!"

Sam tried to think of anybody he knew that he might be able to call for advice, but came up blank. "Howie and Larry… they know even less than I do about girls and dating… Cousin Ree-Ree? He'll just make some silly puns, jokes, and wisecracks, and then maybe he'll want to tag along on the date in order to film it on his home movie camera. Hmm… what about that actor guy who's 'like a brother to me'… at least, Mom keeps saying that… I think she feels sorry that I don't have a _real_ brother. At his age, he's really more like an uncle. Somehow, this doesn't seem like the sort of situation I want to bring _him_ in on… if I ever need advice on making a martial-arts film, he's the one I'll call, but for _dating_? I don't think so."

As if to underscore this point, Sam's radio started playing that silly song, "Kung Fu Fighting."

* * *

Jo spent the afternoon fussing with her makeup, and trying on different outfits. She couldn't even decide if she was trying to make a good impression on her date, or a bad one; that would depend on whether she actually wanted any sort of relationship to develop. At the back of her mind was a thought that she should perhaps aim for a quick breakup, so she'd be free to pursue some less-nerdy guys. "It would have to be done very carefully, without hurting Sam's feelings," thought Jo; "because I'll have to deal with him as locker neighbors for the rest of the school year – maybe for four years; do they change locker assignments between school years? I'm not sure. We'd better try to at least stay _friends_."

Her mom called up to her, "Jo, your date is here!"

Jo yelled back, "Coming in a minute…"


	8. Something In Common

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

The roller disco place had only been open a few months, but it was already the hottest place for teenagers to go on Saturday night. The sign in front of it said "DISCO ON WHEELS – Est. 1975." The "Est. 1975" part seemed a little silly given that it still _was_ 1975 now. It was still fairly early in the evening, but already a large crowd was gathering, and the sound of disco music could be heard coming from inside as Sam's mother dropped off Sam and Jo.

Daniella was standing in front, along with her boyfriend Eduardo.

"Hi, Sam and Jo!", said Daniella. "I'm glad you could make it! This is Eduardo Sanchez… past president of the Hillridge High Latin Club, and all around great guy."

"Please, call me Eddie," said Eduardo. "And, if Daniella is too modest to admit it, I'll say that she's been the president of the Latin Club since I graduated, and a straight A student since kindergarten, and all around great girl!"

"You're exaggerating a bit," said Daniella. "They don't actually _give_ letter grades in kindergarten. But I _did_ get a 'Plays Well With Others', both semesters."

"But enough about _us_," said Eddie. "I hear you had some trouble with a few idiot seniors. Do I have to go back to the high school and kick some butt?"

"That won't be necessary," said Sam. "We solved the problem ourselves… or, at least, some of the other freshmen did. There was a big 'Freshman Rebellion' on Wednesday, where a big group of freshmen engaged in mass civil disobedience by refusing to obey the 'freshman rules', and the seniors backed down. It helped that Mike Kessler had had karate lessons… he could take on several of those bullies all by himself. They're really a bunch of cowards if you stand up to them. Anyway, they're not enforcing those silly rules any more, so Jo and I can get to our lockers without a hassle."

"That's good to hear," said Eddie.

"But, speaking of the 'idiot seniors'," said Sam, "There's the main one of them right here… I hope he doesn't see us."

Sure enough, Steve Sanders was walking into Disco On Wheels, along with his girlfriend, Mary Jo Peterson, the head cheerleader. Fortunately, he didn't see Sam or Jo.

"Steve Sanders… yes, I remember him," said Eddie. "Even back when he was a freshman himself, he was really obnoxious to everybody. He insisted on being exempt from the freshman rules back then… it figures that he was the main one making and enforcing them this year. A real hypocrite."

"High school is full of hypocrites, bullies, phonies, and other people I'd rather not be around," said Jo. "That's why I can't wait to graduate and be away from them."

"College has all of those types too," said Eddie. "They just pretend to be more 'sophisticated' there. And I'm sure that, once we all get out of school and into the 'real world', we'll find that there are plenty of hypocrites, bullies, and phonies _there_ too; you can _never_ get away from them. You just have to find ways of dealing with them."

"Like the Marshalls deal with the Sleestaks on _Land of the Lost_?", added Sam… who immediately thought to himself, "Hey, did I just bring up a Saturday morning sci-fi series? I thought I promised myself I wouldn't do that… _now_ I'm in trouble!"

"You watch that show too? I _love_ it!", said Jo. "Those Sleestaks are so cute… in an evil way, of course!"

"It's the only Saturday morning show I still watch," said Sam, "but it's a good one."

"You should check out _The Lost Saucer_ too," said Jo. "It's a new show that just started; it's another Sid and Marty Krofft live-action show, like _Land of the Lost_, and it's got Ruth Buzzi and Jim Nabors as lovable, though not so bright, aliens… but I especially like the adorable dorse!"

"What's a dorse?", asked Sam.

"A cross between a dog and a horse," said Jo.

"I'll try to catch it next week," said Sam.

Eddie joined in on the conversation, saying "You know what _I_ like most on Saturday morning TV? It's those _Schoolhouse Rock_ segments. They actually helped me pass the naturalization test to become a U.S. citizen… _I'm just a bill, Yes I'm only a bill..._"

Sam and Jo both joined in: "_…and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill!_"

"I guess _I'm_ the only one in this group who doesn't watch kids' shows on TV," said Daniella. "Does that make me the most mature of us?"

"No, just culturally deprived," said Eddie. "But I love you anyway!"

"Hey, we've actually got something in common," said Sam to Jo. "Besides getting picked on by Steve Sanders and the other nasty seniors."

"I hope you've also got an ability to roller-disco in common," said Daniella. "Because it's time for us to all get roller-disco-ing… unless you want to spend the whole night standing outside the place talking about kids' TV shows!"

Sam went up to Eddie quietly, hoping the others wouldn't notice, and said: "Umm… Eddie… this is a bit embarrassing, but I seem to have forgotten my wallet… do you think you could lend me a few bucks for my and Jo's admission to this place?"

"Sure, no problem," said Eddie. "Here's fifteen bucks… that should be more than enough for admission, skate rental, and maybe a snack too."

"Thanks a million," said Sam. "I'll pay you back immediately when I can."

They all went into the disco place.


	9. Disco On Wheels

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

"_My my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender  
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way  
The history book on the shelf  
Is always repeating itself…_"

An ABBA song blasted from the loudspeakers, and Sam, Jo, Eddie, and Daniella skated around the ring in time to the music.

"…_Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war  
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more  
Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted to  
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you..."_

"How are you enjoying this so far?", asked Jo.

"Well, my musical preference is usually more to classic rock than this disco stuff," said Sam, "but I have to admit that, when it comes to picking music to dance, or skate, to, this works out pretty good."

"You're doing pretty well," said Jo. "You've shown some good moves."

"I was _so_ afraid I'd do something klutzy and embarrass myself," said Sam, "but so far I haven't. It really surprised me."

As if saying this had just jinxed him, Sam suddenly slipped on his skates, and rocketed completely out of control down the middle of the skating ring. He finally came to a hard stop when he hit something… or, actually, some_body_. He had run right into Steve Sanders!

"You again," exclaimed Steve. "What was your name… oh, that's right… 'Egg McMuffin'." His girlfriend giggled.

"It's 'Sam McGuire', and you _know_ it," said Sam, picking himself up.

"Oh, I was close enough," said Steve. "And just because some of your freshman buddies managed to talk my friends into being a little more generous in how we interpret the entirely fair and reasonable freshman rules, that doesn't mean that you can _always_ do whatever damn-fool thing you want without consequences."

"Uhhh, it was an accident," said Sam, who actually suffered a worse impact himself than he inflicted on Steve; stars were still going through his head. "I'm sorry."

"You've _always_ been sorry," said Steve, "…a sorry excuse for a human being, I mean. Now we've got to figure out what the appropriate punishment is for this misbehavior."

Jo stepped in. "He _said_ he was sorry… it's clearly an accident; he didn't even _see_ you before he crashed into you. He wasn't doing it on purpose. It's not fair for you to punish him. Look at him… he hurt himself worse than he hurt you!"

"Oh yeah," said Steve, "I recognize you too. As I recall, I put you and him in garbage cans together. Are you his girlfriend? If you are, then you're bringing disorder to the universe… he's a geek, and geeks aren't _supposed_ to have girlfriends!"

"I wouldn't call her my _girlfriend_… this is our first date," said Sam.

"Great start your relationship is having," said Steve. "How many guys get beat up on their first date? You don't see _that_ on _The Dating Game_ very often."

"Nobody here is getting beat up, if I have anything to say about it," said Eddie, who came by to see what was going on with Sam and Jo.

"Why is this _your_ problem?", said Steve. "You've graduated from Hillridge High. You're not part of our community any more; you should leave us to work out our own problems. And the best way to work _this_ one out is for me to give Ronald McDonald here a good whuppin'."

"It's my problem because he's a friend of mine. And he owes me fifteen bucks… if he's in the hospital, I'll have a harder time collecting! If you hurt him, you'll have to answer to me," said Eddie.

"I was just leaving," said Steve. "C'mon, Mary Jo… we were just going to the snack bar for some refreshments." He and his girlfriend left, but as he did, he turned back to Sam and said, "You haven't seen the last of me, Mayor McCheese. Watch your back, and don't forget… 'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun!'"

"So he's gonna buy me a Big Mac?", said Sam. "I'm supposed to be afraid of that?"

"I think that's his inept way of trying to tease you," said Jo. "But I'd be afraid; he's got a lot of power at Hillridge High. He can make things pretty miserable for you."

"Only if you let him," said Eddie. "I didn't let any of those people intimidate _me_ while I was in high school, and you don't have to either. Just stand up for yourself and ignore people like him when they act silly."

"It would be easier to ignore him if he wasn't so much bigger and stronger than me," said Sam.

"He's actually a coward," said Eddie. "Notice that he never actually does anything but talk, unless he has a whole crowd of friends around to back him up. If _you_ have your own crowd of friends, he'll never dare to do anything to you."

"Well, thanks for the help," said Sam. "But I'll have to figure out my own way through all my problems."


	10. I'm Not Fluent in Binary

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

"So, that pattern of lights, On-Off-On, represents the binary number 101, which is 5 in the decimal number system that humans prefer. Therefore, the computer is telling us that the next digit in pi is a 5."

Sam had finally taken up on Larry Tudgeman's offer to come over to his place to see his computer, and Larry was demonstrating how to use it to calculate the value of pi (π).

"Well, I'm not really very fluent in binary," said Sam. "I wish that thing could speak English."

"It'll be better when I get a video terminal; I'm saving up for it now," said Larry. "And, with the terminal, I'll be able to program the computer in a higher level language than the binary-based machine language I'm using now; it's not quite plain English, but the BASIC programming language uses a lot of English words like 'PRINT' and 'NEXT'. An interesting thing about it is that the BASIC programming language for the Altair computer wasn't made by the company that manufactured the computer itself; instead, a guy named Bill Gates started a new company, called Microsoft, just to make and sell software for computers, such as the BASIC interpreter he wrote. That's a brilliant idea, starting a company to sell software; that's where the big money is going to be. Computer hardware is going to become a commodity item that will keep getting cheaper as technology improves, but it takes real smarts to create the programs that make the computers do useful things; the people who do that will be the ones who really profit. I tried to get my dad to invest in that Microsoft company, but he wouldn't do it; he thinks computers are just a fad."

"I don't blame him," said Sam. "_I_ wouldn't invest in a company called 'Microsoft'. When you invest in a small company, you're doing it because you hope they get big and make lots of money, but what does it tell you when a company has 'Micro' in its name? It means that they're small, and _proud_ of it, and they'll never get big… wouldn't it be pretty stupid for there to be a huge company with 'Micro' in its name? And 'Soft' isn't very good, either… if I actually _had_ any money to invest, I'd want to put it in _hard_ assets… something with solid value. 'Soft' sounds weak and mushy."

"OK… so, you and my dad can pass on it," said Larry, "but _somebody_ is going to get rich on that stuff… just wait. But meanwhile, I'm too poor myself to even get a display terminal for my computer… unless, maybe, I can sell off some of my comic book collection."

"You've got a comic book collection?", said Sam. "Cool… can I see it?"

Larry showed Sam some of his comics. "And _this_ one is my most valuable issue, _Fantastic Four_ #1. When it came out in 1961, fourteen years ago, it sold for a mere dime. The next issue, the cover price went up to twelve cents, and now the current issues are a quarter… that's inflation for you… but collectors are paying anywhere from a hundred dollars and up for this issue now. Pretty neat capital appreciation, huh? Especially considering I got _my_ copy at a used-book store for a nickel!"

"Wow," said Sam, "I didn't know comic books could be so valuable. It makes me feel bad that I didn't stop my mom from throwing out my comics when we moved from Michigan. But I wanted to be sure everybody knew I had outgrown those childish things. At least I kept my baseball card collection."

"I never was into sports myself," said Larry. "But comics aren't all childish; some of them get pretty sophisticated. You should check out the new _X-Men_; Marvel just gave that series a major revamping, and it has some very complex and thoughtful plotlines."

"I guess I'll give it a look," said Sam. "I liked the _X-Men_ back when I still read lots of comics, though it seemed to be the least popular Marvel comic then. The whole thing about mutants being outcasts, teased and persecuted, was something I could relate to, since _I_ got treated that way, and didn't even have mutant superpowers to compensate for it."

"Here, I'll let you borrow these: _Giant Size X-Men_ #1 and _X-Men_ #94 and 95; they're the start of the new series. Just try to keep them in mint condition; I suspect they'll be valuable some day, just like that _Fantastic Four_ comic, once the fans catch on and _X-Men_ becomes a hot series. Maybe there'll even be _X-Men_ movies and TV shows some day."

"Thanks," said Sam. "Is it OK if I let Jo read these too? She seems to like some of this fantasy stuff too."

"Sure, if she's careful with them too," said Larry. "So, are you two still dating?"

"Well, after that roller-disco embarrassment, neither of us have really had the nerve to bring up dating again, but we see one another all the time because our lockers are right together… we're getting to be friends, but who's going to make the next move to go beyond that?", said Sam.

"Sorry," said Larry, "but I'm hardly the one to come to for advice on dating and relationships, since I've never _had_ any."

"Quite all right… I'm not sure I _want_ to get into any sort of relationship anyway… that can be nothing but trouble. Oh, on a completely different subject… I notice that you have a color TV in your house."

"Doesn't everybody, these days?", said Larry.

"You don't know my parents," said Sam. "Where technology is concerned, I figure that they'll finally decide to enter the 20th century somewhere around the year 2001. We've still only got a black-and-white TV."

"Poor deprived kid… somebody should report your substandard housing to Child Welfare!", said Larry.

"Anyway," said Sam, "I was wondering if you'd let me come over Saturday and watch the opening game of the World Series on your TV."

"Well, like I said, I'm not really into sports," said Larry, "but I also don't really get people coming over to my place very often… even nerds like me can get lonely. Sure… come over, and bring some friends, if you have any. So, who's playing in this World Series, anyway?"

"The Reds and the Red Sox," said Sam.

"That sounds so… monochrome," said Larry. "Why do you _need_ a color TV for that? You could just put some red plastic over your black-and-white screen, and it would look the same."

"Very funny," said Sam. "But this looks like it might be one of the most exciting World Series ever; the Sox are trying to break their curse – they haven't won a World Series since 1918 – but the Reds are one of the hottest teams in baseball, full of great hitters like Pete Rose, so it's going to be a real battle."

"That does sound like it would be exciting, if I had any interest in baseball," said Larry. "But do come over, and see if you can bring some more people… I might get a chance to show them my computer too!"

"OK," said Sam. "And one more thing… do you think I can come a little early and watch _Land of the Lost_ in color too? I've always wanted to know what color the Sleestaks are!"


	11. A New Plan

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

Sam McGuire, Howie Gordon, and Eddie Sanchez were at Larry Tudgeman's house watching the premiere of a new late-night variety and comedy show. They had been there all day, and earlier on they had seen the Boston Red Sox win the first game of the 1975 World Series with a six-run rally in the seventh inning. Howie, who was a big fan of the Sox's arch-rivals, the New York Yankees, was disappointed at the outcome of this game. As he put it, "The Yanks have really sucked for the last ten years, so my only opportunity for pleasure is to see the Red Sox lose." Sam, on the other hand, was rooting for the Sox because they were the underdogs, fighting a long-time curse; however, he was disappointed that his own favorite team, the Pittsburgh Pirates, had lost in the playoffs. Eddie wanted to know which team had more Mexican players on it in order to decide who to root for, but didn't get a definitive answer, so he stayed neutral. Larry didn't care for sports, so he had no preference in the game, but he still watched it with the others to keep company.

"I'm sorry, but I'll only be able to see the first few minutes of this show," said Sam. "My mom insists I be home by midnight."

"Curfews suck," said Eddie. "I'm glad that I don't have any, now that I'm in college."

"And you've got to rub it in?", said Sam.

"Well, staying out past midnight lets you get to all sorts of interesting things," said Eddie. "Like, I've heard that there's a theater in L.A. that's started midnight showings of the _Rocky Horror Picture Show_. I'd kind of like to go there and experience it for myself."

"Really, that movie's still playing?", said Sam. "I thought it was a flop… it closed at the Wilco theater after just one week. I wanted to see it, but my parents wouldn't let me because it's rated R."

"I don't know _what_ parents think they're protecting us from by not letting us see R-rated movies," said Howie. "Do they really think we'll be psychologically scarred for life from what we see in a movie? I think refusing to let us see those movies causes more harm to our psyches than letting us see them."

"OK, Doctor," said Sam. "If _I_ ever have kids, I'll let them see whatever movies they want. But right now I'm still stuck under my parents' rules, so I can't see that movie until I'm… I don't know… 16, or 18, or 21, or 40… I have no idea when I'm 'mature' enough according to them. Anyway, even if they _did_ finally let me see R-rated films, they'd still never let me go to a midnight showing… especially all the way in L.A. It would be after 3 AM before I finally got home from it! What ever gave them the idea to show the movie at such an ungodly hour?"

"It's kind of a cult phenomenon," said Eddie. "People in the audience throw things at the screen and yell back at the actors… it's wild."

"Well, _I_ want to go, no matter what my parents say… is everyone else in, too?", said Sam.

"I wouldn't mind seeing it; it sounds like an interesting sci-fi parody," said Larry.

"The antics of the audiences in those showings are an interesting psychological study that I'd like to see for myself," said Howie.

"So we're all together on this," said Sam. "But how can we manage to do it, when none of our parents will let us – well, other than Eddie's, because he's in college and can do anything he wants?"

"I've done stuff before," said Larry. "The key is to give your parents a good story of where you are. Like, Sam can tell his parents he's sleeping over at my house, while I tell _my_ parents I'm sleeping at Sam's house. And Howie can claim to be sleeping over at either one of our houses. Nobody would suspect a thing! What could go wrong?"

"You obviously don't watch many TV sitcoms," said Sam. "Whenever anybody there says 'What could go wrong?', that's the cue for something to go _badly_ wrong."

"Oh, don't worry," said Larry. "We're all so disgustingly 'good' kids that none of our parents ever expect us to do anything sneaky, so they won't even call one another to check on us. This plan will work great! Eddie's got a car, so he can do the driving."

"All right," said Eddie. "So, we're on for next Saturday night?"

"It's a deal!", said the three others at once.


	12. The Girls Join In

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

Daniella came up to Sam at his locker in Hillridge High. "Eddie tells me you're going with him to the _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ on Saturday. I want to come too!", she said.

"It's supposed to be a 'guys' night out'," said Sam. "We didn't plan on getting any _girls_ involved."

"But do you think I'd let Eddie go have fun without _me_?", asked Daniella.

"Well," said Sam, "do you think your parents would let you go out to a midnight movie showing, an hour's drive away, with a bunch of guys?"

"Probably not," said Daniella, "but you guys have some kind of a plan to fool all our parents, don't you?"

"_We_ do, but it involves telling them that we're sleeping over at one another's houses," said Sam, "and I kind of doubt that your parents would be too happy about your sleeping over with a _boy_, so I don't think that will work for you."

"So we've got to get another _girl_ involved," said Daniella.

Just then, Jo came by to get to her locker, right next to Sam's.

Daniella said to Sam, "Why don't you ask Jo to come with us?"

"Come where?", asked Jo.

"Some of us are going on Saturday night to see the midnight showing of the _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ in L.A.", said Sam.

"Oh, I've heard of that movie," said Jo. "It's supposed to be really neat. But my mom would never let me stay out that late."

"Neither would mine," said Sam, "but we're being a little sneaky… I'm telling my mom that I'm sleeping over at Larry's house, Larry and Howie are telling _their_ parents they're sleeping over at mine, and that leaves Daniella… if you come along, she can say she's at your place while you say you're at hers. It's a perfect plan!"

"I'll have to think about it… being sneaky and doing things behind my parents' back isn't my usual style," said Jo.

"So, are you going to get through all of your teenage years without doing _any_ youth rebellion?", said Daniella. "OK, I _know_ it's not the '60s any more, but don't young people have _any_ spirit these days?"

"All right, I'll do it," said Jo.

* * *

At lunch, the "geeky boys" were having one of their usual wide-ranging conversations.

"…and, since there's still over two months left in 1975, it's still possible the world _could_ end by then, and prove the Jehovah's Witnesses' prediction right. So we shouldn't declare them wrong until New Year's Day, 1976. The fact that they also predicted the end of the world in 1925, 1920, 1918, 1915, 1914, and 1874 shouldn't be held against them," said Howie. "But if you'd like to see a religion that's _really_ having a bad year, look at the Rastafarians. Their core belief is that the Ethiopian emperor Haile Selassie is God."

"Isn't that the girl in _The Parent Trap_?", interrupted Larry.

"You're thinking of Hayley Mills," said Howie. "And stop interrupting me. Anyway, the emperor had the bad manners to die this August… so, for the Rastafarians, it's literally true that God is dead!"

"Maybe they should switch to worshipping somebody who's alive, like Elvis," said Larry.

"There was some pop song that said that the _New York Times_ said God is dead, wasn't there?", said Sam.

"Yeah, I think it was from Elton John," said Larry. "I always wondered just when the _Times_ actually said that God was dead… and what did they say in His obituary?"

"I have no idea," said Sam. "But enough theology; there's an important new development in our upcoming weekend excursion. We've now got a couple of _girls_ planning on tagging along, Daniella and Jo."

"Who invited them?", asked Larry. "I'm not eager to deal with females. People say 'You can't live with them; you can't live without them', but I've managed perfectly well _without_ them so far."

"Well, Daniella kind of invited herself," said Sam, "and it's hard to turn her down, since it's her boyfriend who's driving. And she needed another girl to say she was staying over with, so that's where Jo came in. And Jo's a friend of mine, so I don't want to turn her down if she wants to go."

"Oh, is she your _girlfriend_ now?", asked Howie.

"No… just a friend. It's perfectly possible for a guy and a girl to be friends," said Sam.

"Well, I guess we'll have to let those girls come along with us," said Howie. "But that's all; the car's going to be pretty crowded now with six of us in there. We can't let anybody else get invited, no matter which sex they are!"


	13. In the Car

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: Thanks to all who reviewed this story so far. It's mostly the same few people every chapter… is anybody else reading this? (grin) 

**Black Knight 03**: Don't worry… I'm probably not throwing in any more parents of _Lizzie_ characters… I realize that they wouldn't all be at Hillridge High at the same time, since some might be older or younger, or live in a different place at the time, and some of them may not meet their future spouses until college or later.

**SunRise19**: I'm not sure yet just how far I'll take it… maybe all the way to the birth of the "Lizzie" generation, which would give me the opportunity to introduce the remaining parents-to-be even if some of them weren't at Hillridge High. But there's quite a bit to get through before it reaches that point.

I've done my best to keep everything entirely consistent with the _Lizzie_ timeline as revealed on the show; I did my homework first by charting the chronology, which you can see in my Web site at **lizzie.dan.info**.

* * *

"Have you heard about those midnight showings of that sci-fi parody film out in L.A… what's it called? _Rocky_ something…?" 

One of the local radio station's deejays was talking about the _Rocky Horror_ phenomenon, coincidentally on the car radio as the group of six teens headed for the midnight showing themselves. Sam had left his house in the afternoon, heading for Larry's house – at least, that's what his parents thought. Actually, he walked to the shopping center a mile from his house, where Eddie picked him up. Howie, Jo, Larry, and Daniella were already in the car, having left their houses on similar pretexts.

"It's _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_, and it sounds like a lot of fun," said the other deejay.

"It sounds like a really stupid movie," said the first deejay, "and I hear the audiences act like barbarians, throwing stuff around and yelling back at the characters… some of the things they say I can't even repeat here. It's full of the seven words that George Carlin says you can't say on the air."

"And what words are those?", said the second deejay.

"You're not tricking me into saying them on the air and getting fired for it," said the first deejay. "But my point is, things like these midnight movie showings prove that today's culture has turned decadent and anarchic… not uplifting like it used to be."

"So maybe what you need is a time machine back to, like, 1955 or something," said the second deejay.

"Or forward to 1995, maybe," said the first deejay. "Surely, our culture will have come back to its senses by then."

"OK," said the second deejay, "What do _you_ think, listeners? Is _Rocky Horror_ a sign of the decline and fall of Western civilization, or just a fun experience? Let us know at 320-KHIL. We're taking your calls… but in the meantime, here are some more of Hillridge's hottest hits… beginning with Elton John."

As the radio started playing "Island Girl," Larry said, "Too bad you don't have a car phone; I'd like to call in about that movie we're going to."

Eddie, driving the car, said, "Only rich people have car phones… do I look like a millionaire to you?"

"In the future, more people will have them," said Larry. "I read in a science magazine that they're working on new technologies for mobile phones that will be more affordable, based on the phone communicating with 'cells' that each cover a small area."

"Oh, so that people in jail can talk on the phone?", said Sam.

"Not _that_ kind of cells," said Larry. "They're local communications towers, which can 'hand off' calls to other towers when you move out of range…"

"Enough with that sci-fi technology stuff," said Howie. "With you, it's always 'in the future' this and 'in the future' that. Can't you live in the present like everybody else? Anyway, we shouldn't be calling into that radio station even if we _did_ have one of those jail-cell phones or whatever you call them. What if one of our parents are listening? We don't want _them_ to find out we're going to that movie showing!"

"Good point," said Sam. "And, to change the subject, does _anybody_ have the slightest idea what the lyrics to this song on the radio actually _say_?"

Jo, who had been silent so far through all the boys' talking, gave it a try. "Island girl… what'cha wantin' with the white man's world… Island girl… something something in your island world… wanna take you, from your... wrecking ball? (That doesn't really make sense…) Want to save you, but the cost is… I'm not sure what it says then."

"I'm not sure what it says either," said Howie, "but it sounds like it might be something racist; it's probably a good thing that people can't make out the lyrics, or else they'd likely be offended by them."

"So maybe that deejay is _right_ about our civilization degenerating," said Larry.

The long drive continued in Eddie's beat up 1963 Chevy, with Daniella in the front passenger seat, and the other four people crammed like sardines in the back. Sam was at the far right side of the seat, with Jo right next to him. Sam had had some previous experience with being crammed tightly in a car's back seat, from family trips, but in those cases the body he was pressed tightly against was his cousin Ree-Ree. Being in intimate proximity to a _girl_ was an entirely different, and not entirely unpleasant, experience. Sam started to have some feelings that were unfamiliar to somebody coming from his sort of nerdy background. He kept reminding himself that Jo was only a _friend_, and he didn't want anything more complex to develop. His male hormones seemed to have other ideas, however.

Jo, who was pressed into Sam on one side and Larry on the other, was having complex feelings of her own. She still thought of both of them as "geeks," and the other girls at school continued to tease her about associating with such people, but she no longer cared so much what everyone else thought; after all, she, herself, liked some of the same things the "geeks" did, like fantasy and science fiction. (Though, she didn't _obsess_ on that stuff the way the "geeks" did.) Still, there was some antisocialness to those nerdy types that turned her off a little, and made her hope that _she_ wasn't like that herself. However, once you got to know these people, you could sometimes find that there's a great guy deep inside, just waiting to come out. Jo was starting to appreciate the company of all of the guys, who were good for interesting intellectual discussions if nothing else, but Sam was the one she really found herself attracted to. It was hard to define exactly what attracted her to him – objectively speaking, he seemed somewhat inferior to the others, often coming off as clumsy and clueless in contrast to the relative confidence the others in their group seemed to have in their opinions, actions, and plans – but perhaps that just made him more "human" to her. She decided she really didn't mind being pressed tightly against him… on the other hand, Larry, on the other side, was getting pretty annoying.

"Here we are… that's the theater now!", said Eddie.

* * *

**MORE AUTHOR'S NOTES: **Actually, in the song "Island Girl" (lyrics by Bernie Taupin, performance by Elton John, from the album _Rock of the Westies_ – reached #1 on the _Billboard_ Hot 100 on November 1, 1975), the lyrics actually say: 

_Island girl  
Black boy want you in his island world  
He want to take you from the racket boss  
He want to save you but the cause is lost  
_


	14. Late Saturday or early Sunday

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"Let's do the Time Warp agaaaaaaaaain!" 

In the car on the way back from the _Rocky Horror Picture Show_ midnight showing, the six teenagers enthusiastically sang a catchy song from the movie they had just seen. They were excited about their experience, though rather tired by now, as it was past 2 AM and they had been out since the afternoon. Since they had arrived in the neighborhood of the theater hours before the movie was to start, they had acted like tourists and gone around and seen sights like the stars in the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so by the time midnight came they were already worn out from all that walking. That didn't stop them from participating vigorously in the audience activity during the movie, taking their cues from the others in the audience who had been to multiple past showings and knew what to do.

"That was a fun movie," said Sam.

"The movie itself was kind of stupid," said Larry, "but I still kind of got into the spirit of the audience interactions, which made it an entertaining experience. It's not really about science fiction as a literature of ideas, but it's fun anyway."

"When I get to graduate school, I want to do my thesis about the psychology of cult phenomena such as this," said Howie.

"Yeah, but did you _like_ it?", said Jo.

"It had certain entertaining aspects," said Howie, "if you put aside your intellect enough to overlook all of its glaring errors… like implying that Transylvania is in another galaxy, rather than being a region of Romania, as we all know it really is. And I don't think there is any greater proportion of transvestites in its population than anywhere else."

"Oh, you're not supposed to take it so _literally_," said Eddie. "It's a farce, making fun of the conventions of all the sci-fi, fantasy, and horror movies. The audience shows they're in on the joke by their participation."

"Well, _I_ had a great time," said Daniella.

"Me too," said Jo. "I'm with Sam on this… it's a fun movie. You don't have to get all intellectual and try to figure out what it really _means_… just go along with the fun."

The discussion didn't last very long, since everybody _was_ pretty tired. Soon, after a long quiet spell, Eddie turned on the car radio. He couldn't find any actual music, since in the early hours of Sunday morning the stations were fulfilling their FCC obligation of community service programming by airing various oddball talk shows in the time slot when there was least likely to be anybody actually listening.

"…and you're listening to Community Chat. Later we'll be discussing the case of Karen Ann Quinlan, currently going through the New Jersey courts; should she be kept indefinitely on life support, even though she's brain-dead, or should she be allowed to die as her parents want? Whichever way the courts decide, this is a case that will be a precedent for other similar situations for a long time to come. But first, a matter of local interest. The Los Angeles city council is currently debating a proposal to legalize… get this… _pinball machines_! Yes, these amusement devices with their bumpers and flippers, bells and buzzers, have been illegal in the city since the 1940s because they promote gambling and other disreputable activity. New York City and Chicago have similar ordinances, but most of the rest of the country, including our own suburbs, haven't seen fit to ban those things. Now the council wants to let them into L.A. proper. Pinball wizards will rejoice, but is this a good idea? We're taking your calls at 320-CHAT. Hello… you're on the air!"

"Hi, I'm Petunia, from Hillridge… I think it would be a mistake for L.A. to legalize those things, and I wish _my_ town would ban them too. It's just one more pointless, annoying thing that kids are wasting their time and money on. Same with those new games… what do they call them? 'Vidiot games', I think… and only an idiot would be interested in them. You know the things, those boxes with a TV screen on them where you hit an electronic ball back and forth… pretty stupid, but people keep putting in more quarters to play them. The kids today are getting stupider and stupider. Back in the '50s, I organized comic book burnings to clean up the kids' reading matter, but now their morality is at an even worse level. Kids should be outside getting good exercise, when they're not doing their chores or their homework. Ban all of those stupid games! Ban television, too, while you're at it. But don't ban radio… I love to call your show!"

"I know her," said Sam. "She's that nutty old lady down the street from me, with a dozen cats. She's always griping about something. All the kids know not to go near her house on Halloween… she doesn't give any candy, but she sure gives a mouthful about how evil the kids are."

"This is another time when I wish I had one of those portable phones that's coming in the future," said Larry. "I'd love to rebut that lady on the air."

"Yeah, and she'd probably tell your parents you were up late at night calling radio shows," said Eddie. "So, once again, it's for the best that you're _not_ able to do it."

Just then, there was a loud THUD, followed by bumping noises, and the car came to a halt.

"What's that?", asked Sam.

"I think we have a flat tire," said Eddie. "We'll have to get out and change it."

"This doesn't look like such a good neighborhood," said Jo, looking slightly scared.

Indeed, they seemed to be in one of the worse parts of town, with derelict cars up on blocks along the side of the street, and some unsavory-looking people standing at the corner.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** In 1976, L.A., New York, and Chicago all finally legalized pinball machines. 


	15. Gang War!

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"This neighborhood looks scary," said Jo.

"OK.. you girls stay in the car, with the doors locked, while us guys go out and change the tire," said Eddie.

"That sounds sexist," said Jo, "but I think I'll stay in the car anyway."

"I don't mind helping with the tire," said Sam. "My aptitude test back in middle school said that I have untapped mechanical ability."

"Mine said that I was fit to be a rock 'n roll diva with a world renowned shoe collection," said Jo.

"You're making that up," said Sam. "That's _not_ a category on that test."

"What, you don't trust me?", said Jo.

"I trust you for most things," said Sam, "but for that one I'd really like to see the test results form before I believe it."

"Guys, we've got a tire to change," said Eddie.

"Here's another case where one of those future portable phones would be useful," said Larry. "You could use it to call the auto club to get help."

"Yeah, if I were a _member_ of an auto club," said Eddie. "But we can take care of this ourselves without any space-age technology."

The young men got out of the car and got the spare tire and jack out of the trunk. Some people down the street, possibly dressed in gang colors – Sam and the others weren't really familiar enough with gangs to be sure – seemed to be watching them but didn't do anything so far. Soon, the car was jacked up and Sam tried and failed to take off the lug nuts; they were screwed in too tight for him to budge. He handed the wrench to Eddie, who had little trouble getting them off.

"OK, the test said I had mechanical ability, not arm strength," said Sam.

As they were taking the flat tire off, the gang down the street finally walked towards them. One man, who looked like he was in his upper teens or possibly early twenties, came up and said, "You kids are up past your bedtime, ain't ya?"

"We're just on our way home from a movie," said Eddie.

"Hey, you look Mexican," said the gang guy. "Are you in one of those Chicano gangs? We don't like them too much around here."

"I'm not in _any_ gang," said Eddie. "Gangs are stupid."

"Now you're calling _us_ stupid, are you?", said the gang guy.

"I didn't mean…", said Eddie, but he was interrupted before he could finish.

"Well, you're in _our_ territory, so you'd better show us the proper respect while you're here," said the gang member.

"Hey, look at the babes in their car!", said another gang member, who had walked over, and now noticed Daniella and Jo.

"You leave the girls alone!", said Eddie.

"And just how are you planning on stopping us?", said the first gang member.

By now several gang members were gathered around. They looked big and strong, and some of them clearly had knives. Sam was getting pretty scared by now, but tried to keep from looking that way.

Everybody stood there for a minute, not certain what to say or do. But before either the gang or the kids took any action, they were under attack from a different direction. Another group of young adults, dressed in gang colors different from the first gang, had snuck up and surrounded everybody.

"It's an ambush! Fight!", said the first gang member as he led the rest of his gang into battle against the rival gang. Soon a full-scale gang war was in progress, surrounding Sam and his friends, who quickly went into the car (which was still not going anywhere, with one of its tires off on the ground) and locked the door; they didn't think this would be much protection from the violence outside, but it was better than nothing.

Fortunately, the members of the two gangs were more interested in fighting one another than attacking non-gang bystanders. However, being in the middle of all the action involved some risk of becoming collateral damage purely by accident.

Just then, sirens could be heard, and several police cars arrived. The police came out with guns aimed at the gang members, who immediately stopped fighting and scrambled trying to get away. A few of them managed to run away, while others were caught and arrested. After a while, once the situation was under control, two cops came up to the car, where Eddie had opened the door again.

"What are you kids doing here?", asked the first policeman. "You're not with any gang, I hope."

"No, we're not," said Eddie. "We were just fixing a flat tire when the gangs started fighting around us. We had nothing to do with them."

"Well, you really shouldn't be out here at this hour. Our town _does_ have a teen curfew law, you know."

The other cop, partner to the first one, interjected at this point: "That's an old law… it's been decades since it's really been enforced."

"Well, these kids' parents ought to know what they're up to, and how they put their lives in danger getting into the middle of a gang war. So I think we should bring them in."

"Are we going to jail?", asked Sam fearfully.

"No, just to the station, where we'll call your parents so you can be picked up," said the first policeman.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Is this enough action for you, **_hotchic12_**?

Teen curfew laws were passed in many places in the early part of the 20th century, often announced by a bell or siren that could be heard all over town. By the middle of the century, the laws had fallen into disuse and weren't enforced, though most hadn't been formally repealed. In the late 1980s, teen curfews suddenly were back in political vogue, and many such laws were passed and enforced. Since then, they've gone in and out of favor several times, and are sometimes argued to be unconstitutional, though the Supreme Court hasn't ruled on the issue.


	16. Busted!

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"Going out after midnight, and getting into the middle of _gang wars_? What were you _thinking_?", asked Sam's father when he arrived at the police station to pick him up.

"I wasn't _trying_ to get into the middle of a gang war," said Sam. "The car got a flat tire in a bad neighborhood, that's all."

"And _what_ were you doing out at that hour, anyway?", asked Sam's father.

"We were at a movie, Dad… the midnight showing of the _Rocky Horror Picture Show_. It was a real experience!"

"It sure was," said his father, "but not the sort of 'experience' I think you ought to be having, especially if it puts your life in danger. Which gangs were they, maybe the Crips and the Bloods? I keep hearing about them on the news… they're really dangerous."

"I don't know," said Sam. "You think I know gangs well enough to tell which is which?"

"I'm just not sure I really know _you_ any more. I didn't think you were the kind of kid to do something this stupid. Did Larry's parents actually let him go off like that?"

"No, he kind of lied to his parents too," said Sam.

"So you're becoming friends with a bunch of liars, are you?"

"It's _not_ like that… well, I admit we did, um, bend the truth a little this time, but they're all good people."

"Well, I think you might need to try to find some _better_ people to hang out with… once you're through with the _month_ of grounding you're getting now. Let's go!"

It was light out by then, and the radio stations were finished with their middle-of-the-night talk and community-service shows; they listened to Casey Kasem's _American Top 40_ on the way back home. ("Bad Blood," by Neil Sedaka, was #1.)

Eventually, Jo's, Daniella's, Larry's, and Howie's parents also came and picked them up, with their own lectures about their foolishness. Eddie hadn't been taken to the station, since he was over 18 and not subject to the curfew law, but after he finished changing the tire he came over to the station anyway to keep the other kids company. Daniella's mother wasn't very happy about him getting her into trouble like this, and said that she would be talking to his parents even if the police didn't. So it didn't end up as a very good night for any of them.

* * *

"Hello?", said Sam, answering the phone.

"Hi, Sam, this is Larry."

"Oh, hi… haven't talked to you since our night out… are you grounded too?"

"Yeah… none of our parents were very pleased with what we did."

"It's been really boring staying home alone… at least my parents let me watch the last two games of the World Series… very exciting series, but tough luck for the Sox… well, there's always next year. But watching it at home, in black-and-white, by myself is less fun. Even my parents didn't watch; they're not into sports."

"Well, neither am I, so I wouldn't have been that much help. But I've got my computer to work on… I think I've come up with some good ideas for programs. Maybe I can be like that Bill Gates guy."

"I'm spending my time working on an article I'm writing for the chess club newsletter," said Sam. "It's titled 'Why Algebraic Notation is Superior'. Here's my opening sentence: 'Just as America refuses to join the rest of the world in converting from our clumsy, archaic units of weight and measure to the rational and internationally supported metric system, many American chess players cling to a clumsy, archaic system of chess notation rather than the more sensible one favored by the rest of the world…'"

"Umm… which notation is 'Pawn to King Four' in?"

"That's the old notation… it's clearly less logical than the new one, where that move is denoted as 'e4'… note how much more concise it is, and that 'e4' is always the same square of the board, while 'King Four' is a different square for the white and the black player."

"I still remember the old notation better," said Larry.

"Yeah, well, you probably remember miles better than kilometers too, which is why everybody needs a lot of re-education to be more logical," said Sam.

"So we all need to be sent to re-education camps, huh?"

"I feel like I'm in one already, with this grounding," said Sam.

"I'd better go… my parents will probably yell at me if I stay on the phone too long while I'm grounded."

"Same with mine… let's try to catch up with one another at school at least. And I hope I can get in a few nice words with Jo… she doesn't seem to be talking much since that whole incident."

"Yeah… you two are good together, so I hope she's not mad at you or something. Anyway, nice talking to you… bye."

"Bye," said Sam.


	17. The Aftermath

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"Trick or treat!"

Sam answered the door, and was surprised to find Daniella there, wearing a witch hat.

"Aren't you a little old for this?", said Sam.

"I'm actually taking my niece and nephew around to show them what Halloween is all about," said Daniella, pointing to two little ghosts, actually kids wearing sheets, next to her. "They're visiting from Mexico, and I wanted them to see the American version of the holiday… down there, tomorrow is the 'Day of the Dead', and it's all about ancestor worship… a lot more serious and somber. It's a lot more _fun_ up here. Also, my parents were willing to make a temporary exception to my grounding to let me out with the kids, and I was going crazy cooped up in the house!"

"Glad to see you," said Sam, holding out a tray of candy to the kids. "What did your parents do to you after our little outing?"

"Well, I'm grounded for at least a couple more weeks, and they also think that Eddie is a bad influence and I shouldn't see him any more even after the grounding ends. But I'm not going to listen to them… I love him too much. I'll keep seeing him even if I have to run away to do it."

"I hope it doesn't come to that," said Sam. "I mean, will you be able to afford college on your own? Even if he loves you, Eddie will have some trouble paying your tuition along with his own. Hopefully, your parents will see what a good guy he is, and not just judge him based on one silly incident, that we all went along with equally."

"I hope so too," said Daniella, "but they think that because he's over 18 he should have shown more maturity and responsibility. But _I'm_ almost 18 myself, so I think I should take equal responsibility for everything that happened."

"I'm not going to try to blame it on anybody else, either, even though I'm younger," said Sam. "I chose to do everything I did; I wasn't pushed into it."

"How is Jo? Are you still seeing her?", asked Daniella.

"Well, it depends on how you define 'seeing'," said Sam. "Her locker is next to mine, so of course I see her regularly, but she isn't talking much. I think she blames me for the whole thing… I would have thought she'd accept that 'individual responsibility' thing like you and I."

"Some people don't think straight while they're in a bad mood," said Daniella, "and getting into something like this is enough to make somebody in a bad mood for a long time. But she'll get over it eventually."

"I sure hope so… I find I really miss being friends with her."

"Anyway, it was very nice talking with you again. And one more thing… can you please tell me which house has that nutty old lady you were talking about, who we should avoid?"

* * *

Back in school, Sam ran into Larry during a free period. "Hi, again," said Sam. "We really haven't talked much since that night."

"Well, one reason is that I'm spending most of my lunch periods keypunching the programs for my computer course. It's in Fortran, with punch cards… a more advanced language than I've got on my computer at home."

"Howie and I miss you at lunch," said Sam. "And we don't get to meet any other time because we're all still grounded. Thank goodness my grounding ends in another week; how about yours?"

"Same with me. But you gave me a good idea; I'm spending my time writing, like you told me you were doing for the chess club newsletter. Only I decided to write fan fiction instead."

"Fan fiction? What's that?", asked Sam.

"It's where you write new stories featuring characters that already exist, like from TV shows and stuff. There are several 'fanzines' that publish that sort of thing… a fanzine is like a newsletter that's written by fans. Many of them are about _Star Trek_, for instance."

"Stories with other people's characters? Isn't that a copyright violation?", asked Sam.

"You'd have to ask a lawyer. But do you really think the studios are going to sue a few teenagers? What money would they get from us? This fan fiction is done for fun and literary exploration, not for profit."

"Sounds interesting… so do you, like, write new episodes of the TV show?"

"Some of the stories are similar to what new episodes might have been like if the show hadn't been cancelled. But I find it more interesting to be more wide-ranging and explore further reaches of the fictional universe. For instance, what will happen after all of the _Enterprise_ crew retires? Who will be the _next_ generation of the Star Fleet? Or, in the opposite direction… who was the _previous_ generation… the people who brought Earth in contact with the other intelligent races of the galaxy, and built the Federation for Captain Kirk to represent? You won't see stories like that from the 'official' sources, who don't think there's any profit to it… the masses just aren't into that sort of thing, and the studios don't care about a few nerds. So it's up to fan fiction authors to tell the story of how things got to where they were on the TV series."

"Kind of neat," said Sam. "I'll want to read whatever you write."

"And you want to know one neat thing about fan fiction?", said Larry. "Lots of _girls_ are into it. All the rest of the 'nerd' stuff is practically all boys, but the fanfic community is _crawling_ with chicks. So maybe I'll finally meet somebody!"

"Hmm… I thought you didn't _want_ to meet girls?", said Sam.

"There's a time for everything," said Larry. "I didn't want to meet the sorts of girls that are around me in school, but maybe in the fanzine communities there are some that are more my type."

"Well, good luck," said Sam. "But I wouldn't call them 'chicks' if I were you… some of them get offended at that."

"Oh, now you're a feminist sympathizer, huh? So, what's the proper term these days? I don't suppose 'broads' is the right thing to say, either?"

" 'Women' should always work," said Sam.

"And, speaking of chicks… er, women… how are you and Jo doing?"

"We're really not speaking much," said Sam.

"That's too bad… you're great for each other," said Larry.

"Everybody seems to think so," said Sam. "Apparently except for Jo, however."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** 1975, when this story is taking place, was very different from the current day. Here are a few notes:

**Things that weren't around yet:**

Cell Phones

Digital Cameras

The World Wide Web

MP3 players

Rap music

The Department of Homeland Security

**Things that were still around:**

Rotary dial telephones

8-track tape players

Leaded gasoline

Disco music

**Celebrities who Weren't Born Yet:**

Britney Spears

Lindsay Lohan

Kelly Clarkson

50 Cent

Ricky Ullman

**Celebrities who Weren't Dead Yet:**

Elvis Presley

John Lennon

Groucho Marx

George Burns

Bob Hope


	18. A Night at the 'Bean'

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"You know what would _really_ make this place great? If you put _computers_ in here, where the customers could use them!" 

Larry was talking with the owner of The Coffee Bean, a coffee house which was celebrating its grand opening.

"Sorry," said the owner. "I don't think the 'geek' market is big enough to support that."

"You'll change your mind eventually," said Larry. "I bet 30 years from now _all_ cafés will have computers."

"So you're ahead of your time," interjected Sam, who came there along with Larry and Howie. "Or else you're from a different galaxy… I can never be sure."

"Hey, guys," said Howie. "Computers or not, this place looks like it could be the new hangout place for the cool kids at school… and, also, for us!"

"How come?", said Sam. "Have you started drinking coffee? I haven't. I've heard it stunts your growth or something."

"No, but they _do_ have other choices… soda, juice, and other stuff. Also cake and cookies. And the management doesn't seem to mind young people hanging around."

"I guess you're right," said Sam. "And it's great that all of our groundings have run out, so we can go out again. I was getting really sick of my house, even though I _did_ get the time to write all sorts of interesting articles for newsletters and stuff."

"I've just about finished my fan fiction story," said Larry. "It takes place in the _Star Trek_ universe about 30 years before the TV series, showing you how things got to the way they are in the show. I'm caling it 'Star Trek: The Past Generation'."

"So, like, do you get to see Captain Kirk's mom and dad?", asked Sam.

"Maybe I'll get them in somewhere, but mostly I'm focusing on the founders of the Star Fleet. I _do_ have some scenes involving Spock's parents, showing how a human and a Vulcan get together."

"Sounds interesting. Where will you be publishing it, in one of those fanzines you were talking about?"

"Actually, I was meaning to talk to you about that. I've decided I'd rather publish my _own_ fanzine rather than sending it to somebody else's. However, I need something to print it on… I heard you've got access to the room where the school keeps their ditto machine?"

"Yeah… being president of the audiovisual club has its perks. I've got the key to the Multimedia Room, where they keep the slide and filmstrip projectors and some other stuff… including the ditto and mimeograph machines. I even know how to work those machines, since they sometimes have me print class handouts and stuff. So I think I can get you in to use that thing, but you'll have to bring in your own paper; they'll complain if I use up the school's paper on personal projects."

"Sure," said Larry. "My dad runs an office supply store, so I can get my hands on plenty of paper, ditto masters, and other supplies… the school won't be out any of their stuff."

"That should be OK," said Sam. "Let me know when you're ready to print it."

Daniella walked in at this point. "Hi, guys!", she said. "Eddie is meeting me here… he should be here any time now. Don't tell my parents I'm still seeing him… they're still angry about that little trip we took last month."

"Don't worry," said Sam. "I don't know enough Spanish to say much to them anyway."

"Hey, they've learned English pretty well," said Daniella. "Their English is better than your Spanish, anyway."

* * *

Meanwhile, Jo was sitting at home by herself. 

"It's Saturday night, and you're not grounded any more! What are you doing sitting here doing nothing?", asked Jo's mother. "You should get out somewhere. Not into the middle of another gang war, but to some _safe_ place that's out of the house."

"I guess you're right," said Jo. "There's a café opening going on, and it seems like practically everybody from school is going there."

"Including the people who got you into the middle of a gang war last month? I'm not sure _they're_ the ones you should be hanging out with."

"And _I'm_ not sure I want to have anything to do with them either," said Jo. "But there'll be other people at that place, so I guess I _should_ go."

* * *

Back at the Coffee Bean, the boys and Daniella were still talking, with their usual wide-ranging topics. 

"Now, I've got an idea," said Larry. "Time travel _could_ become possible sometime within our lifetimes. So, if we'd like to meet our future selves _now_, we should make an appointment to meet ourselves back in this time if one of us ever invents a time machine, or gets a chance to use one – heck, the things might be available for rental at Avis or Hertz by the year 2005. So we need to agree on a time and place – like, right here, and… what time is it, anyway?"

Howie checked his digital watch. "7:54, and 32 seconds."

"All right. So our future time-traveling selves should agree to meet here, at the Coffee Bean, 113 Maple Street, Hillridge, California, at 8 PM, Pacific… umm, are we on Standard or Daylight?"

"Er… well… Spring ahead, fall back… I'm not sure," said Sam.

"We're on Standard Time," said Howie. "Daylight Time is in the summer; it's on for a longer time now because of the energy crisis, but we've still switched to Standard Time now. That's UTC minus eight hours, to be exact."

"What's UTC?", asked Sam.

"It's what used to be called Greenwich Mean Time, but the scientists decided to rename it to Universal Coordinated Time for some reason… and don't ask _me_ why they don't abbreviate it UCT. One of these days, I'll explain leap seconds to you… a really fascinating topic. But it doesn't really matter now."

"OK," said Larry. "Time travelers should meet here at 8:00 Pacific Standard Time, on… what day is it?"

"November 22, 1975," said Howie. "That's 12 years to the day after John F. Kennedy was assassinated, which is likely to be a _much_ more interesting destination for time travelers than here and now."

"Well, after they stop President Kennedy from being killed, they can come here, can't they?", said Sam.

"I don't know," said Larry. "Changing history can be… problematic. If JFK wasn't killed on schedule, the present time would be different, and we might not be in the same place at the same time… everything gets iffy. But if we have the sense not to cause any paradoxes, let's try to come here… write down the place and time so you don't forget it, even in 2005 or whenever. And if we really do it, then the time machine should be popping up right… what time is it now?"

"7:59 and 50 seconds," said Howie. "51… 52… 53… 54… 55… 56… 57… 58… 59… 8:00!"

Right at that second, Jo walked in.

"Hi, Jo!" said Sam.

"Did you, by any chance, come here in a time machine?", asked Larry.

"Uh… no… actually, I took the bus…", said Jo, a little puzzled.

"Don't mind him," said Sam. "He's just on another of his sci-fi kicks, as usual. But come and join us… we've barely said two words to one another for the last month. Are you still angry about that trip we took?"

"Er, well… I didn't really enjoy winding up in the middle of a gang fight, and my parents didn't like it very much either."

"And you think it's _my_ fault?", asked Sam.

"You're the one who _asked_ me to join in, weren't you? Or maybe it was Daniella… I can't actually remember. It doesn't matter… you were _all_ in on it."

"That includes _you_ too," said Sam. "You agreed to it as much as everybody else. And you enjoyed that movie… we all did. It was just the stuff afterward that didn't quite go as we planned."

"Well… I guess… but maybe Daniella's boyfriend Eddie should take more responsibility, because he's older and should have known better."

"Somebody mention me?", said Eddie, who had just walked in.

"Hey… the gang's all together now!", said Howie.

"I'd rather you didn't mention _gangs_, if you don't mind," said Jo.

"Hey, Eddie, did _you_ come here in a time machine?", said Larry.

"Not unless you consider my old car to be living on borrowed time," said Eddie. "But at least I didn't get any more flat tires on the way here."

"He's asking _everybody_ if they're a time traveler," said Howie. "He thinks he can attract future time travelers here by getting all of us to promise to come to this time and place if we ever get hold of a time machine, but it doesn't seem to have worked."

"Maybe our future selves got Standard and Daylight time mixed up and were an hour off," said Larry.

"Or maybe it's time for Scotty to beam you up," said Sam, "so you can return to your home planet."

But, despite some good-natured ribbing, they all got along well, including Jo, who loosened up and treated the rest of the kids as friends. The group was back together… just don't call them a gang!


	19. Not just a fanzine it's an adventure!

**OK**… I _finally_ got around to updating this story… bet you guys'll have to go back and re-read all the old chapters to remind yourself what it's all about. If you forgot, it's late 1975, and the parents of the kids of _LM_ are in high school.

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

_You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike._

"So, what do I do now?" asked Sam, looking at the printing terminal which had just output this message.

"Dropping objects can help in keeping track of locations so you can map the maze," said Larry. "But be sure to pick them up again; you'll probably need them."

They were playing the Colossal Cave Adventure game on the mainframe computer for which the school had recently installed a terminal for student access. In the following semester, this would be used for the programming classes, replacing the antiquated punch-card-based computer that was currently being used. Larry was ecstatic, raving about how much more powerful the new computer was compared to the one he had at home, or even the old one at school. "It's got 256 kilobytes of memory!" The computer wasn't actually at their school; it was over at one of the state university campuses. Several different schools hooked up to it through terminals, accessing the computer at the same time through its time-sharing operating system. "See… this thing that the telephone fits into is called a 'modem', and it lets the terminal talk to the computer over the phone. And ours is high-speed; it connects at 300 baud, not the slowpoke 110 baud that some modems use."

"I don't really understand all those bauds and kilobytes and stuff," said Sam. "But I know _you_ do, and that you'll be careful using that computer, so I trust you with it." Students weren't really supposed to begin using the computer until January when the new semester began and the teachers showed the programming class how to use it, but the terminal had been set up in the Multimedia Room, to which Sam had access as president of the Multimedia Club, and he had yielded to Larry's desire to try out the terminal a little early, after school hours when nobody else was watching. However, Larry also needed to run off his fanzine on the ditto machine, so soon he left Sam playing the text adventure game, supplying hints as needed from across the room.

"How do you know how to play that game, anyway? You've only had a few minutes at the terminal," said Sam.

"There was a feature on it in one of the computer magazines I read," said Larry.

The Colossal Cave Adventure was a text-based game (obviously, since the printing terminal had no graphic capability!) where you controlled a player who was exploring a cave using commands like "GO NORTH" and "GET LAMP". Along the way you found treasure, encountered monsters, and solved puzzles that sometimes required clever uses of the objects you found. This engrossed Sam for a while, until he was interrupted by Larry. "Here it is… cold off the press!"

"I thought the expression was 'hot off the press'?" said Sam.

"Whoever came up with that expression obviously wasn't using a ditto machine," said Larry. "Printed sheets that come off this machine are cold to the touch, from the evaporation of the alcohol-based ditto fluid. Here… look at my fanzine!"

The fanzine was nicely done, for a dittoed publication. The front cover even had multiple colors. "How did you manage the colors?", asked Sam. "I thought ditto machines only printed in one color… at least, everything I've ever seen from them was in a kind of purplish blue."

"My dad's office supply store stocks multicolored ditto masters," said Larry. "By using several different carbons, of different colors, on the same page, I achieved this effect. Pretty neat, huh?"

Sam had to admit it was pretty neat. He refrained from critiquing the drawing quality of the cover picture of the _Star Trek_ crew, which indicated that, whatever career Larry pursued, it probably wouldn't be as an artist. But the technical quality was pretty good.

"Go ahead… read my story! I want to get back on the terminal, anyway!", said Larry.

Sam wasn't that happy about abandoning his game before he had gotten all the way through the cave, but Larry was the computer geek, so he let him on.

* * *

At the lockers the next day, Sam gave Jo his copy of Larry's fanzine. "I think you'd like this… it's about _Star Trek_, but it's not just the normal geeky stuff… this 'fan fiction' thing seems to get into relationships and romances and all that girlie stuff… OK, the lead story is by Larry, so it's not really 'girlie' per se, but it _does_ have that Vulcan-human romance in it. But he also publishes a couple of other stories that are written by girls… not even any that we know, but I guess they saw his announcement in another fanzine and mailed the stories in to him to be published. I didn't know there were so many girl geeks out there." 

"Girls can do _anything_ guys can do… and you don't have to be a 'geek' to appreciate and explore the ideas of a fictional universe," said Jo.

"_Anything_, huh?", said Sam. "Even play football?"

"Well, maybe I'll stick to touch football for now," said Jo. "But I don't know why girls _can't_ play contact sports; it's not _girls_ that have a spot in their crotch that hurts real bad if they get hit there…" As she said that, she aimed a playful kick in the direction of Sam's crotch, but he pulled back immediately and said, "Let's not have any demonstrations… that isn't funny. I get the idea. There's a reason they make athletic supporters, after all."

"What would _you_ know about anything athletic, anyway?", said Jo.

"Hey, chess is a sport… there are actually people trying to get it into the Olympics."

"Yeah, like you need to protect your crotch against those nasty chess injuries. If a captured bishop is flung too hard, it can do all sorts of damage!", said Jo.

"Well, for all his bluster, Sanders isn't on any sports teams himself… he just coasts on the reputation of his dad as quarterback of the football team years and years ago."

"But his girlfriend's the head cheerleader," said Jo. "I say _cheerleading_ is a sport… more so than chess."

"Oh… are they at risk of severe cheerleading injuries then?", said Sam.

"It could happen… what if that pyramid they form collapsed? Somebody could get hurt," said Jo. "But it seems kind of perverse to judge a sport favorably based on how often people hurt themselves playing it."

"You started it… and did you just call me a 'pervert'?", said Sam.

"I said 'perverse'… that's entirely different," said Jo. "OK… this conversation isn't really going anywhere good, so let's talk about something more pleasant. What are you doing for the Christmas break?"

"Relatives from back in Michigan are visiting… the house is going to be really crowded. How about you?"

"I'm going to be out of town… we're going up to Washington state to visit _our_ relatives," said Jo.

"Too bad," said Sam. "That means we won't be able to get together over the holidays."

"Well, there's too much family stuff going on then anyway… but I'm impressed you care about me enough to _want_ to get together," said Jo.

"I'm glad you care that _I_ care," said Sam. "We've just known one another for a few months, and already we've been through a lot. I'd like to get to know you better." ("What did I just say?", thought Sam. "I'm starting to sound like I want her to be my _girlfriend_ or something… but we're just friends, and ought to _stay_ that way!")

"That would be nice," said Jo. "We should have plenty of time for it after the holidays." ("Ummm… are we talking like we want to be girlfriend and boyfriend now?", she thought. "No need for _that_, but boys and girls can be good _friends_, can't they?")

* * *

**NOTES**: Ditto machines were, as described here, a popular means of duplicating school materials and fanzines in the 1970s before photocopiers and computer printers were widespread. You made a "master" by drawing and typing on a sheet with a sort of carbon paper on the back that created a reversed image of what you wrote. In the machine, an alcohol-based ditto fluid wetted the master and caused ink to be transferred to the paper sheets. You could make about a hundred copies before the master wore out, and the resulting sheets were cold to the touch until the fluid finished evaporating. Another machine used for duplication in schools (and for fanzines) was the mimeograph, which used "stencils" that ink went through; this could produce more copies and was faster, but was also messier; the ink could get all over you. 

The "Colossal Cave Adventure" (usually known simply as "Adventure", or "Advent" on systems that limited filenames to six letters) was created in 1975 by Will Crowther (and later improved by Don Woods) based on the Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. It was widely played on mainframe computers in the late '70s, and was later ported to personal computers. It began the genre of text adventure games of which the _Zork_ series is the best-known.

Chess has indeed been promoted as a possible Olympic sport, and the U.S. Chess Federation has even controversially proposed drug testing for chess tournament players to bring its practices in line with Olympic rules. Just what substances might be performance-enhancing for chess players is strongly debated.


	20. The Spirit of '76

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own _Lizzie McGuire_, but she's not actually _born_ yet at the time of this story, anyway.

* * *

"Happy New Year, and welcome back to Hillridge High School." The school announcements began over the loudspeaker as Sam sat next to Howie Gordon in their first period class – an elective single-semester class in psychology that was not usually open to freshmen, but they had both convinced the school administration they were smart enough. For Sam it replaced a useless "study hall" he'd had in first period last semester; what was there to study before any of his classes started? Well, he'd seen enough other students using the period to frantically finish the homework due in the second period, but _Sam_ wasn't _that_ kind of person. He even sometimes finished his homework on Friday night… not like he had a _date_ or anything. He was glad to have a class together with Howie this time; in the last semester none of his new-found friends had shared any classes with him, and he felt kind of lonely because of it. They were going to try to have more classes in common in the next school year… well, except for Daniella, who was graduating this year. 

The announcements continued. "…and to celebrate our nation's bicentennial, there will be a special essay contest. Write about what America means to you, and you could win a trip to Washington, DC, to watch the capital city celebrate July 4th in person. Details are posted on the school bulletin board."

"There's a school bulletin board?" said Howie. "I don't remember seeing one."

"Yeah… it's by the guidance counselor's office," said Sam. "I've posted chess club and multimedia club announcements there a few times."

"So, are you gonna try entering that essay contest?", asked Howie.

"Maybe," said Sam. "I'll see if I can come up with something suitably patriotic."

The teacher called the class to order then, so Sam and Howie shut up.

* * *

Lunch period was the one other time in the school day when the group of friends sometimes got to be together. Actually, Jo, Daniella, and Howie were officially in a different lunch period than Sam and Larry, but at least Howie had a free period at the time of Sam and Larry's lunch, so he sometimes sat in on their table anyway, letting the guys all be together (and sometimes they felt glad to leave the girls behind… "guy talk" and all that). 

After some chat about how their respective holidays were, Sam asked Howie: "So, is it really true that you get eight days of presents for Chanukah, instead of just one like we do on Christmas?"

"Well, kind of," said Howie, "but most of them are pretty small.. I think on the whole Jewish kids get about the same quantity and quality of presents as Christians; they're just spread out more. But it's mostly just the kids who get presents… unlike with Christmas, there just isn't as big a push for everybody to give stuff to one another, other than parents and other relatives giving things to the kids. It makes the holiday season less frantic and aggravating for everyone; I think it's a good thing."

"So _that's_ why you didn't get us anything…", said Larry.

"Also, Chanukah was back in November this year; it's on the Jewish calendar, which moves around relative to the normal calendar. But I _did_ have one question," said Howie. "If there's only one day of Christmas, just what's the deal of that song that goes on about the 'Twelve Days of Christmas'?"

"I'm not sure," said Sam, "but I'm kind of glad I didn't get a partridge in a pear tree, or any of those other birds and stuff… I don't know where I'd keep them."

"I wouldn't mind getting the five golden rings, though," said Larry; "I'd be able to sell them and buy some stuff for my computer."

"You're still doing stuff with that computer?", said Sam. "Didn't you say the one at school was so much better?"

"Yeah, but I still like _owning_ one myself," said Larry. "If I put in more memory, and a display terminal, and a disk drive, then it will be pretty good, and I won't have to wait for other students to finish on it before I can use it. I think somebody's even working on a version of that Adventure game for it."

"OK… I'm just not enough of a geek to really get into all that computer stuff, even though everybody else seems to group me with the nerds anyway," said Sam. "And I actually like sports… I'm really happy to see that the Pittsburgh Steelers made it into the Super Bowl."

"Why are you rooting for Pittsburgh?", asked Howie. "You're not even _from_ there."

"Well, my cousin was accepted at Carnegie Mellon, so he'll be going to college there this fall... but for some reason I've just been 'into' the Pittsburgh teams despite not having a personal connection. Well, I also like the Chicago Bears. Things don't always have to be so logical."

"That's not what Spock would say," said Larry.

"I assume you mean the one with pointy ears," said Howie, "not the doctor who writes about baby and child care."

"Anyway, I've decided I'm going to try to win that Washington, DC trip by writing a bicentennial essay," said Sam.

"Good for you," said Larry, "but there's only one winner per school, so we can't all go on that trip together… it'll separate us."

"We can live without one another for a week of the summer, can't we?", said Sam.

"Can you stand being away from your _girlfriend_?", asked Howie.

"If you mean Jo, she's _not_ my girlfriend. She's just a friend… who happens to be a girl," said Sam.

"That's what you _always_ say," said Howie. "But is it _really_ true, deep down in your innermost psyche?"

"Hey, stop psychoanalyzing me," said Sam.

"You're _right_ for a change… you don't have a girlfriend… none of you geeks will _ever_ have a girlfriend!", said a new voice from outside their table. The boys looked up to see that their nemesis Steve Sanders was standing there listening to their conversation.

"Nobody invited _you_," said Sam.

"Nobody _has_ to invite me anywhere, freshman… I _own_ this school," said Steve. "And don't even _think_ about winning that trip… I'm going to do it." With that, he walked away.

"_He's_ entering the essay contest?", said Sam; "I didn't even know he knew how to write."

"He's probably going to cheat and get somebody else to write the essay for him," said Howie. "But I wonder why he's actually _interested_ in winning something so nerdy as an essay contest? Could it be that he's _jealous_ of you?"

"Could be… that's an interesting situation to be in," said Sam.

* * *

In _their_ lunch period, the girls were also talking. 

"I think I might try entering that bicentennial essay contest," said Jo.

"You know that the trip is to Washington, DC, not to the state of Washington where your relatives are," said Daniella.

"Of course I do," said Jo, "but that's what's so good about it; I've been to the _other_ Washington lots of times, but never to the one on the east coast. Anyway, I think I can write pretty well… better than the nerdy boys that are likely to enter this thing, anyway."


End file.
